The End of My Time Teaching English in Thailand

This essay was originally published on September 24, 2021, on my previous travel blog, Travel Creecher.

Want to listen to this essay instead of reading it? Play or download the audio from my website here.

This week marks my last week as an English teacher in Thailand. I am giving students their final exam and saying my goodbyes. Many other Fulbright English teachers have already wrapped up at their school and departed the country early. Now, at the official end of the program, I too am concluding my time as a Fulbright English teacher in Kalasin, Thailand. Upon reflection, this program felt like the longest nine months of my life. Yet, at the same time, it also seemingly occurred in a blink of an eye. There are many takeaways from my experience teaching in Thailand, and this blog is a testament to that. I do not know how to properly summarize it all, and any attempt will surely diminish its significance. But, here goes a shot at it anyway.

Taking on the Unpredictable

I decided I wanted to apply as a Fulbright English teacher in Thailand in August 2019. At the time, Thailand was not particularly significant to me, or no more than many other countries I had yet to visit. The deciding factor in my decision was simple: Buddhism.

Throughout college and into the present, Buddhist philosophy and practices have integrated themselves into my life. I meditate daily and subscribe to many of Buddha’s teachings and philosophies of life. My goal in coming to Thailand was to learn about Buddhism firsthand.

Of course, I did not foresee what it meant to enter a country where 93% of the population are Buddhists. Nor did I put a lot of thought into what it would mean to meet a monk and visit real Buddhist temples. And even if I did have expectations before my arrival, they would have certainly not coincided with reality. But even a novice student of Buddhism can tell you that.

In fact, all that I anticipated before coming to Thailand was escaping from America and American culture. That I knew was a guarantee. What I did not anticipate was how impactful this escape would be for me. I knew I was in for quite the experience. Just coming to a foreign country during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic is an experience in itself, but I did not know how much my experience in Thailand was going to influence who I am, and where I am going.

The Process

Even while isolated in my quarantine hotel, I already felt I was someplace personally significant; somewhere special. I still don’t know why I felt this way so early, but that initial feeling of belongingness to the country only grew bigger in my heart as the months passed and I immersed myself more and more.

I could explain all the changes that occurred to me since that time in quarantine, but it would be in vain to suppose that it justifies all the change I felt within myself in these last nine months. Changes such as Thai food becoming my new favorite cuisine, adopting the sabai-sabai attitude into my daily life, or even recognizing the surprising influence standard of living has on my well-being, while all still true, do not do justice in giving a comprehensive picture of the process that took place within myself.

The best explanation may be a confusingly simple one: Thailand gave me myself.

I precisely mean that my time living in Thailand has presented me with the opportunity to learn more about who I truly am. Traveling always does a good job of this because it forces one out of their usual environment. Living in Thailand also did this, but to a degree more intense than any other time I have traveled before.

I can only infer this was due to a combination of being completely removed from English speakers, living alone for the first time, and finally being in an environment and culture where I feel at peace. The latter is something I cannot explain in words, only something I can feel. And I am beyond lucky to feel the peace of mind this process has awarded me.

The End and Going Forward

Coming to the end of this fantastic journey, the question remains: now what? The end of anything always brings about questions of what happens next. As I said before, I learned it is futile to generate expectations for an unpredictable future. But given all the change that Thailand has provided me, I can say that I am left with no other choice but to leave behind the world and become a monk…

Just kidding.

All jokes aside though, like the monk, I have come to understand there are many useless aims in life. There are many passions and delusions about how to live well that I have abandoned without any residual doubt. For example, abandoning any pursuit of wealth, status, or power. Or releasing any sense of urgency I ever had for obtaining some future end. My focus now is not a life of monkhood, but one monk-ness, whereby I would like to live a life of simplicity and calm, while still pursuing worldly goals.

Although, these goals are still under development. My goals in the short term are to continue to blog (another unsuspecting gift that I happened upon since moving here) and start a podcast with a conversational approach to the philosophy of life. Anything beyond that is another journey that I welcome with open arms.

As far as Thailand, well, I hope to stay here a little while longer. I do not have intentions to continue teaching English, but instead, I plan to become a student. Over the next couple of years, I want to take Thai language courses and train Muay Thai.

And so, even with all the numerous memories and insights learned, I still have not yet had my fill of this beautiful country, and I cannot wait for everything still in store for me…

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Published at https://kylecreech.com on September 24, 2021.